Friday, 23 March 2007

THREE HUNDRED!

I found myself in O2 again last night. Ask me how?

When I went there on Wednesday, I saw that they were starting the movie ‘300’ the next day (yesterday) and I realised that it if I chill till Friday, the cinemas would be ridiculously full. BUT THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE! The movie 300 is INSPIRATIONAL... And I mean that in the most direct way you could ever imagine. LOL. Read on!

06:18pm: On the way to the station after work, I called my cousin up. “Oh boy, make we go see that 300 movie na, I hear say e dey commot today – meet me for O2 before 07:00pm” That’s why I like going to see movies with close friends and family – no need for all that demo of pop-corn, Malteasers, drink, hot dog, Nachos, ice-cream and all those things that you would normally buy when you carry babe. My cousin and I just bought on large bucket of pop-corn to keep the mouth running, we no even buy drink (when we reach house we go use somerfield apple juice wash am down).

07:00pm – O2, paid for the tickets (with old student card - wey we no dey school again o!) and proceeded to catch the flick. I love seeing movies at the cinema, I don’t know why – I think I just ‘gbadun’ the experience. Meanwhile, you know all those Orange adverts with those two guys (for the cinema goers) that they used to show before the start the movie, I think the last one was the one with Steven Segal, where he blew up their helicopter. Omo, there is a new one now, its funny – look out for it – i.e. get to the cinema on time and don’t be like typical (you know who) and get there late saying;- “we would only miss the previews”. You don’t know that the previews would ginger you up for the feature movie! Anyway the new Orange advert is really cool; you guys should check it out!

SPARTAN! – (I am not going to say much about the movie (300), because I don’t want to spoil it for those who intend to watch it and at the same time I don’t want to bore those who are not even interested). I want to talk about the effects the movie had on me! Now I understand why they always put age restriction on movies for children. Some of these movies dey possess person. Kai! Basically the movie 300 is about warriors/soldiers who were trained to battle and kill from the age of seven. It was for only the boys though but their girls and women were important. These soldiers turn out to be very strong. Remember Troy, now imagine like 300 of Brad Pitts character in Troy in one movie now that’s “300” – They are called Spartan soldiers from a place called Sparta. With all the Demo in the movie, coupled with the cinema effects men, you go just dey shake body on top your seat, the thing go dey sweet you. You self you go think say you be Spartan warrior! Ask me wetin happen.

Na so the movie finish, after seeing all that bravery, fearlessness, courage, fighting with weapons e.g. Swords, Shields, Spears and ‘sound plus visual’ effects. My body just dey charge, you know when you walk with your chest out like say if any body just try me now I go just find one small stick and ‘chuk di person”. Indeed, na so one Oyinbo guy wey just commot from one nearby pub, the guy was drunk and started talking to me and cousin as we were walking to the station... All I could think about was how I go shout SPARTAN, jump and stab him with my sword. But as my “pali” green his was most likely red, ‘mo y’ara min brain’ – ‘I gave myself small brain’ and kept quiet. Lol.

But guys, guys, the point I am trying to make here is that all these stabbing and shooting that is going in London, ‘ara nkan to man fa re’ – ‘these are part of the things causing them’. When all these ‘Oi boys’ watch all these kind of rap videos and hear all kinds of stuff on them it’s the same effect it has on them. That’s why they begin to kill each other; we won’t see that kind of thing IN JESUS NAME.

And for all you girls (including some guys) that survive on Naij movies – I am not saying there’s anything wrong with that but when for instance “Your husband or boyfriend is not giving you enough respect/money or even satisfaction AND in the last Naija movie you watched, “Loveltina”, wanted “Morris” to love her more and she put some ‘juju’ in the Eba and Egusi she made for him, then he became a ‘Mumu’ for her” PLEASE DON’T LET IT GIVE YOU THE KIND OF IDEAS THREE HUNDRED WAS GIVING ME O! – Lol

:-) I am sure you guys know that no matter what, I would never stab anyone. I am a child of God and covered by the blood of Jesus so no weapon fashioned against me or no one planning to stab me shall prosper unless baba says its time for me to come up there and sit by his throne!

See you tomorrow! “Make I warn una, my weekends dey sweet well well o! So no miss tomorrow edition!”

32 comments:

Waffarian said...

eheheheheh! O2 again! na wah! so na so film dey "shack" you anyhow? hahahhhaah, I have to confess, I don't watch action movies or horror movies! why? cos I dream a lot and everytime i watch violent films I end up acting them out in my dreams!!!!!for real! after a couple of disturbing incidents as a child, I was banned from such films, as an adult, i thought i was over it.........heheheheheheh for where!anyway, i only watch drama, "hallmark movies"! I know say u dey laugh, but na true. All my friends always think i am joking when i first tell them but over the years, they've accepted me amidst a lot of jokes! hahahahah!

Jack Bloggs said...

When you say "everytime i watch violent films I end up acting them out in my dreams" do you mean you do bad things in your dream or you actually physically start beating up people around you cos you go on to say "after a couple of disturbing incidents as a child, I was banned from such films"


If its the latter - abeg, biko, jo no watch 300 0!

Waffarian said...

No, its the other way around!In my dream, I'll be in the film and the bad guys will be dealing with me seriously, hahahahaha anyway, na so i do dey scream, dey thrash about, dey attack my poor brothers and sisters wey dey try wake me up. Infact as an adult, I don attack people wey dey try wake me up! I swear!

exschoolnerd said...

bwhahahhaa..."My body just dey charge, you know when you walk with your chest out like say if any body just try me now I go just find one small stick and ‘chuk di person"..thank God o fun ara e brain...lol..

that had me cracking up...been meaning to watch that movie sha..seems like the kinda movie i go gabdun...

i saw in the news recently that some dude in jand killed two school kids after watching some scary movie about a serial killer like 20 times...crazy shit...

Mr.Fineboy said...

Omo, for real men! Those films dey chaaaaarge me! Especially Kingdom of Heaven, sometimes I go just denge in front morror, begin do like Orlando Bloom. But omo, give urself brain well well o! If u chuk person, omo na Murtala Mohammed straight o! Keep blogging playa!

Jack Bloggs said...

@Waffarian , I know one guy for benin wey dey cure that kine tin. But dey must to flog you as part of the healing process... lol. Seriously tho, i dont remember my dreams - i know its very bad but thats another story for another day!

@Exschoolnerd - You are right, all these stabbings are due to some of these movies and violent music - but what baffles me is that they still make more of these thrillers available for kids to watch - but then again what can they do to curb it - they need to make their money!

Mr Fineboy, I swear men, Murtala str8! And if they hand you over to naija police, your own do finish! I no see that Kindom of heaven tho but i can imagine. Remember troy now. But its all good tho. Nice one!

BiMbyLaDs** said...

lollllllllll.. character ni e! lol.. clown.. im soo gonna add u to my fav blogs now!!

so make i no watch 300 be dat? becs naturally, im hyper.. if i watch 300, I go fit use my compass and protrcator ( u remeber mathset).. dey chuk persin o!

but me i dont understand oyinbo movies o.. im not bush o.. infact i get masters degree,but all those Troy and kingdom of heaven no dey do am for me.. after i watched Alexandra.. I decided that any warrior movies i watch will be Fadeyi oloro and ayamatanga movies.. nothing for oyinbo movie again..

watch alexander and if ur still awake after the movie.. email me and ill post u kokoless amala!

Jack Bloggs said...

Thanks Bimbylads. wash out for todays blog!

Chude! said...

A champagne glass to the latest Naija blogger.

I happen to be on the prowl today for the most interesting blogs. So there's Fineboy's and there's Bimbylad's, and there's ExschoolNerd's ... and now there's yours! Lol

Kingdom of Heaven was a classic by the way. I went on and on and on about it for weeks. My mum retaliated by playing three Nkem Owoh movies back-to-back to bring me 'back to earth', she said.

Cheers!

iconoclastic said...

lOLLLLLL, FUNNY..bimby is rite afta alexander we promised no more warrior movies...

masivhips said...

lolol. FUNNY blog. Dont go chucking 'em people o.

Nneka's World said...

I totally loved 300, i was overwhelmed by all the testosterone being displayed on the screen, it was muscles, muscles and more muscles.
The graphics was on point, the blood and gore on point! i went to see if with a male friend of mine and me thinks he was very uncomfortable with all the muscles on display seeing that he has none!
But i did not like thier version of the boy shorts they had on, it was like whoa!

Not much dialogue, which would have been wasted as its an all out "action" movie

chidi said...

there has been a lot of hype about the 300 movie. I would like to watch it though even though im not so into bloody movies. But since i watched passion of the christ, i can watch anything (except horror movies. Absolutley hate them. Can't sleep after i watch them). Haven't seen a more bloody movie than that.

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

not seen the movie. welcome to blogsville ( a little late abi? well better late than never)

vindication through innocence said...

this guy... one word!!SPARTA!!!!!lol!!too funny!my mate saw it and said to me 'babe. you need to see this FILM...its like porn'!!i was like, ok then!!and another thing!!!STAY AWAY FROM 02!!Im sure as a naija guy it does fantastic stuff to your ego-people sayin wassup to you any and everywhere-but one day you and those two security guys IN 02 are gonna be friends!!can you imagine takin a babe out and then all of a sudden the security guy thats ALWAYS pervin on naija babes goes and says 'Yay!!my guy!this one fine pas yesterdays own.how far?'!!Must be careful!!just step back mate.seeing as the academic year has come to an end, Ill be seein you there-not nandos- the curry spot upstairs is mad and so is the burger joint-MAD MILKSHAKES!!
and BTW, the sainsburys in 02 is the nearest cos the one in willesden is beyond small and the one in hendon has too many nigerians loitering around that side-Cant be givin them head scarf and tracksuit bottoms men!!not cool!!
kudo to you!If it was me, i woulda slapped that get me innit boy round the head with my clutch bag!!

snazzy said...

pretty damn funny, especially since I haven't heard chuk used in the none dirty sense in a long time. Anyway, the movie just landed naij last weekend, and so I should drag my arse to see it this one. I would have gotten it on the road, but people have threatened to sepe for me if i did not see it in the cinema. Nice one. Laters.

Mr.Fineboy said...

My friend update!

Waffarian said...

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!

Mr.Fineboy said...

Jack Bloggs! Will you update??? You're very unserious o.

Dolly said...

I haven't see it yet, but i hope to see it soon
Kingdom of heaven is a nice movie too

Nice post...... no go dey chuk people

Jack Bloggs said...

I am a three hit wonder... But i be back a soon as i get some inspiration...

Mr fine boy - Even if i havnent updated - I still visit your blog and thats most likely what will motivate me.

Dolly - Forget it the hype for the movie is over. (Catch it on DVD)

Waffarian - i am on my way to your blog now.

Hengish said...

I am getting the DVD pack, actually just paid for it although its not coming out till the 21st of May, I need to watch the part were the oracle was being sleazed by those disguisting monsters.... too nasty but insanely erotic.

Hengish said...

oh yeah .. you need to update your blog.

Dolly said...

UPDATE!!!!!

vindication through innocence said...

k now ur takin the pizzari(piss)!!!so whats the deally Mr Bloggs??its not like youve not got stuff to be writing about...i saw ur essay on Slaters blog- im startin to think you two have some coded relationship!can you please update!!-this is not a question but a statement that requires Akshen(action)- please- ive read this 300 thing about 5 times and im sure given the time i could recite half of it!!ciao and i look forward to reading your post- i dont care what its about-just update

Hengish said...

J.Blog .. yes its Ikoyi Baptist Church actually thats my church in Nigeria, so VBS has been compulsory in my house for a bit

this episode occured in '02.. i think the '98 theme was "my bestfriend is Jesus" or was that '96 anyho you old small oh ...

maybe we've run into each other.

Pls don't tell my momsie what I have been up to oh ...actually hiss she already knows hehe.

Well it happened during VBS thats why I gave it that title.

When are you going to update your blog ehen.... if you are waiting for fineboy that one is posing like a movie star. Abeg now bros !

Hengish said...

Dude I want to be your "first" too.. so UPDATE !

Jack Bloggs said...

Wow - I am under pressure now - i will update o! I will Update. I am away this weekend (starting today - wednesday) so hopefully, i will get some inspiration and hit you guys with something good!

Hengish said...

Sorry didn't mean to scare you... I had to change it, peeps where on my case like a rash.

vindication through innocence said...

so ok!!i see how ur going on yeah!!blad thats deep!!lol!!this is the second time ive had to write this...my guy...update now...you have not even seen what Slater Jaye has written!!-that one pas kolo!hes started sniffing glue and smoking gari and beans through a straw made from bitter leaf!!!

Hengish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hengish said...

VINDICATION KAI YOU OWN TOO OTT !

We should change your name to EXAGGERATION THROUGH INNOCENCE !

JOKER !

I have been pestering him as well.

Allow him. We shall not do a Mr. Fineboy for him.

If not his head would be swelling like a ROCK STAR !