The Den

I am not sure why some of our people love the Den so much but I am sure its not the only Nigerian food joint in the whole of north-west London. Last night I found myself eating their very bonny Suya (if it’s not Suya in Nigeria, it’s not the same thing as Suya in Nigeria).

06:45pm and as usual I am looking for what to do with my evening. As it was Wednesday, there was the option of mid-week service at church but the grumblings in my tummy did not permit me to move towards that direction. All I could think about was food! To make matters worse I was unshaven, full hair and half asleep... Which reminds me – Would you guys believe that I dozed off on the train on my way back from work. One would say whats wrong with that? Its ok, but not when your stop is the last stop and the train is about to start moving again in the other direction. You should have seen how I jumped off my seat when I heard the door about to close. You need to understand that, the train had reached its final stop (my stop), the driver got down, went to the other end of the train (in order to move in the opposite direction), waited for like 10-15 mins before shutting the train doors and that’s when I heard that beeping sound and jumped off my seat. To cut the long story shore, I left my pen on the train.

Where was I? So ...to make matters worse I was unshaven, full hair and half asleep, bank account not saying much (in fact almost not saying anything at all [Don’t judge me – its already 20-somethingth of March, its Ok to be broke at this time of the month]). Thank God for how we Nigerians look out for each other and understand each other, so I called up my Local Barber and said “Oh boy I dey come shape up, but... shey you understand” and he simply said “No yawa now”. Bless his soul – meanwhile after he cut my hair for free he made my buy (on credit) one of the Polo shirts he sells and said I would pay him next week. Life! Nothing is free in this world! Got home, dropped my stuff and made out almost immediately to the barbers shop (as you’ve just read). In between all this, I received a call from one babe that just landed from Yankee for her spring break holiday. I don’t get it, why are students in America coming to this Heat forsaken country for SPRING BREAK! I swear they are better off in the northern part of Naij maybe somewhere like Katsina on Nasarawa. The babe said she wants to see me and I asked her where she was – “I am somewhere in south-east London, take the train to London bridge station, get the surface train to so and so...” I said “wait o that one is already reaching outside London if not Kent”. Finally she said she was coming to the O2 centre on Finchley Road. To be honest that was even worse because I knew I would run into a few people – but being a week day with little chances of seeing anyone, I decided to go! But before O2, I ran down to my cousins’ crib also in Northwest London to satisfy my hunger.

08:30pm: O2 centre with the babe and bumped into like 10 other people from years ago. Imagine, it’s just ridiculous, ON A WEDNESDAY? The question is “wetin carry me go there”. – Woman of course! Now with a filled up stomach, full of smiles with only sleep on my mind, that’s how this babe said she is hungry. In my mind I said, so what am I supposed to do about that? But in reality, I said; “Really?” She said she wanted to go to The Den and that I should take her. Now what wasn’t clear was whether the “take me” meant show me direction since I don’t know the way or come and buy food for me at The den, As ‘guy man’, I couldn’t just say I was broke like that, I had to agree with that suggestion and then break it down to her on the way. But we thank God, she said was going to treat me. That’s why it’s not good to be to forward. If I hadn’t gone to my cousins’ house to eat, I would have done to her what Aunty Lori did to Mr. Fine boy! “Na God save am”.

Omo they are making money in that Den O! See grown up Nigerian men, after leaving their family at home coming to drink pepper soup and down bottles of beer. But who blames them, the food in this country is disastrous, all they know how to eat is Broccoli and Sprouts with Mushrooms. At work today, I went to eat at the café for lunch and they said they were serving burgers – I was happy and therefore purchased one. Only for me to open the thing, besides the buns it consisted of the following ingredients; - The actual burger, ketchup and two boiled onion rings. UNBELIEVEABLE!

Back to my Den story, they are really making money in that place. I spent like an hour and a half there and nothing less than 20 old men, 5 couples and 7 random people walked in and out – considering there are only like 7 tables. The place is really small so I over heard all sorts of conversations, its funny how Nigerians abroad love talking about politics in Nigeria. The way these guys were talking you would think they are based in Naij and are only here for one or two days – some of them have been here for like 14 years now. I have only been to Den like 4 or 5 times in my life but there was one guy there that I have seen every single time and I know he doesn’t work there or own the place because he was wasted (DRUNK) each time!

The food wasn’t great! Imagine how Suya would have more bone that meat – I think they just roasted some “oxtail’ and sprinkled the pepper on it. As I was eating it, all I could think about were those nights my friends and I would drive down to Allen Avenue to buy Suya from the Faculty of Meatology (University of Suya). Well and if we were on the island – it would be Ikoyi hotel or opposite Eko hotel – maybe like once a year.

The night went well, after dinner we went to a friends’ house to ‘chill’... I would leave what happened there to your imagination!